Pandemics We Have Known

Today's news is all about the swine flu and Arlen Specter, not that they are related or contagious. It now appears that Joe Torcella, who had announced his run for the Senate, will stay in the race on the Democratic side, although he is also rumored to be the leading candidate to replace Mark Schweiker as President of the Greater Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce. And Pat Toomey has attracted competition on the Republican side of the Senate race with Pat Luksik (sp?) who is even further to the right than Toomey. Republicans in Pennsylvania have definitely entered the nut case realm.

The Swine flu has made its appearance in Delaware at the University, where more than 20 cases are reported. Should we quarantine Joe Biden?

It is nice to know where to go to reach your elected representatives. Councilman Jim Kenney, for example, holds forth nightly at the bar of the Palm in the Bellevue, 230 South Broad Street, where you can engage him on any subject you'd like and be entertained by his frank and sometimes outrageous opinions about the buzz of the moment. The Bellevue, of course, provided our own pandemic several years ago when its ancient air conditioning system incubated and brought forth Legionnaire's Disease.

Panic ensued, as formerly jolly veterans shrivelled up and died across the country, with the only connection among them that they had visited Philly. Our town can do that to you sometimes. Ask George Washington why he ended up in Valley Forge....

And A Turned Ankle

Chase Hamels, the Phillies' fragile superstar, turned his ankel in last night's game. "A mild sprain" said today's paper. But you can't imagine the chill that ran down the spine of Phillydom when he went down. Brad Lidge, our other pitching hero from a year ago, is already sidelined with a bum knee. Here in Philly we expect the worst to happen. And when it doesn't we celebrate enthusiastically. However, the worst usually does happen to us and we have history on our side to believe it will again.

• We were the first capital of the United States. Lost that one.
• We were the country's financial capital. O for two.
• Then we were its Second City. - Heard of Chicago?
• Ben Franklin was ours, right. Nope - Boston's.
• With our ancient history, we must have produced many Presidents, right? - O for five
• Well our baseball team is 129 years old. Must have won a lot, huh? - Two World Series Championships.
• Must hold a lot of records, though. - Yeah 10,000 losses.

See what I mean?

Our Own Turncoat

When I read his essay in this issue of the New York Review of Books, I thought Arlen Specter was just positioning himself with the Liberals as he usually does and would then travel to Scranton to support the NRA, as he usually does. He has been a turncoat for so many years that this move to become a Democrat suits him well.

We here in Pennsylvania have been famously called a State with Philadelphia in the East, Pittsburgh in the West and Mississippi in the center. This is a fair analogy for a State (officially, a Commonwealth) that has the largest NRA membership in the United States. We like our guns, as our Governor, who has failed to ban assault weapons for twenty years, has learned. One must give Ed Rendell credit for opposing the NRA in a State like this.

But Darlin' Arlen will survive, which is his principal purpose, and he will deprive the country of the services of Joe Torcella, who would have become the next Senator from Pennsylvania. Torcella, who has headed the National Constitution Center and worked as an aide to Mayor Rendell, would have put a real liberal in the Senate, not a right-wing Democrat like the incumbent Bob Casey (Who opposes gun control and abortion) or a turn-coat like darlin' Arlen, who will win as a Democrat.

Awaken Your Sophomore Humor

It has, indeed, been a fruitfly weekend. No, I didn't mean fruitful - fruitfly is what I meant. By Saturday, the record warmth had the bananas browning, the peaches drawing fruitflies and the red wine turning to vinegar. Broke a record yesterday when Philadelphia topped out at 94 degrees.
I just drove back from Princeton and the car registered 97 outside - this, of course, is unofficial, and taken on I-95, which may even make it suspect. I saw a wonderful French movie called "Dinner of Idiots," at least that is its English translation. The literal French title is "Dinner of Assholes."
This movie is available with English subtitles and I highly recommend it. The plot involves a group of Parisian intellectuals who meet for dinner each week. One of the members is required to bring an idiot to the meal and the others are meant to enjoy the idiot but not let him know that they think he's an "asshole." Sounds cruel when the plot is summarized but, in fact it is hilarious and will bring out the Sophomore in you. I highly recommend it.
Other ways to bring out your sleeping Sophomore may include listening to the latest commentary of Dick Cheney, reading anything written lately by Rick Santorum, or tuning into Fox News if you can stand it. Whoopie cushions are also available if those methods don't work for you.

SPRING AHEAD

Here in Philadelphia, Spring continues to tease. Although the flowers and trees are in full bloom, the weather has been gray, cold and wet. We are promised a sudden increase in the temperatures to the eighties this weekend, so we'll see.

Back in William Penn's day, the Delaware River teemed with Shad this time of year. The little-known-in-other-parts-of-the-country fish used to spawn near Lambertville New Jersey and New Hope, PA, nearly ninety miles up the river from Delaware Bay where they swam in from the Atlantic ocean.

Since the river has been cleaned of most of its industrial waste for many years now, the Shad have returned, as evidenced by the annual Shad Festival sponsored by the town of Lambertville. It is to be held this weekend and we wouldn't miss it. Here's to Shad Roe and local asparagus, the harbingers of Spring!

PHRED'S PHEARLESS PHORECAST

As is traditional, we begin with a review of last year's amazingly prescient prognostication:


PHRED'S PHEARLESS PHORECAST (Last Year)

W L
PHILLIES 94 68
NY Mets 90 72
Atlanta 89 73
Washington 75 87
Florida 68 97


ACTUAL 2008 PHINISH
W L PCT
PHILLIES 92 70 .568
NY Mets 89 73 .549
Florida 84 77 .522
Atlanta 72 90 .444
Washington 9 102 .366

Phans:

World Champions. Wasn't it a great season?! Even though I missed the actual W-L numbers by 2, I did pick the phinish correctly; keeping intact a ten year record of trying very hard.

For this year's phorecast, I visited the Phils' spring training camp in Clearwater, saw some of the minor league prospects play at the Carpenter Complex, analyzed the starters at Brighthouse Networks Field, and arrived at what I believe will be an accurate phorecast, albeit one that will disappoint you.

I think the Phils, despite replacing Pat Burrell with Raul Ibanez in left field, have basically stood pat. But the Mets did not. Their acquisition of Francisco Rodriguez and some putz named J.J. Putz have made them measurably more formidable. Although our new left fielder has a more consistent hitting record than the streaky Pat Burrell, he has spent his entire career in the A.L. It will take him at least twice around the league to know the pitchers, the stadiums and the different pace of games in the N.L. By then, it will be July and as in past years, we should be four or five games back of the Mets by the All-Star break. July also is when we can expect Chase Utley to start rounding into form from his off-season surgery. This spring, Chase looked very awkward in the field, throwing off-target and getting his feet in the way of his fielding. July, too, is when our 46 year old Jamie Moyer ought to begin to feel his years. I don't expect Ryan Madson to maintain his set-up form from last year because I think he is fundamentally a frail head case. And speaking of head cases, who knows which Bret Myers will take the mound this year? Cole Hammels has already been shut down once this spring and I think we can look for more of that as the season progresses. He was over pitched last year. Chan Ho Park? Ho hum.

With our three left handed hitters (Utley, Howard, and Ibanez) in the meat of the order, we'll be lucky to see a right handed pitcher in any key situations all season. Add to this the simple difficulty of repeating as winners over the long grind of the season and I think we should all remember last year's parade as fondly as we can for as long as we can. I don't think we'll see another one for a while. In fact, based on Phillies' history, we are due for our next championship season in about 2080.

So here it is, pholks:PHRED'S PHEARLESS PHORECASE 2009

W L
NY Mets 94 68
PHILLIES 89 73
Atlanta 88 74
Florida 75 87
Washington 64 98



Go Phils!!

Phred

With Brotherly Love

“Married people don’t live any longer. It just seems longer.” – W.C. Fields



“Liberty without virtue would be no benefit to us.” - Dr. Benjamin Rush

“I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.” – W.C. Fields

“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to eat for lunch.” – Benj. Franklin